Des idées, des cultures, des manières de vivre, des valeurs différentes. Cela est compliqué à gérer dans les familles, les belle-familles, les familles recomposées.
Collisions de valeurs
- Ecouter la valeur de l’autre,
- La respecter,
- Trouver des solutions convenant aux deux parties.
Accueillir l’autre, différent, comme Jésus l’a fait avec Marie-Madeleine venant lui verser du parfum sur les pieds – Jean XII, 3 et Luc VII, 38
End of week-end in recomposed families
At the end of a weekend, a Belgian-African couple (a recomposed family) returns the children to the other recomposed family who look at their watches.
Of course they are late again! AND tomorrow it’s a school day and the children won’t get enough sleep.
The couple arrive with the 2 children in torn trousers but with radiant faces.
– We are a little late, but the children were having such a good time at the Bambi Park…
– So much the better if they enjoyed themselves.
For us, it’s important that they go to bed on time. We’ve been waiting for half an hour; it’s no joke.
OK, so you want them to be on form for school tomorrow morning. We think that the whole point of the weekend is to relax.
It’s true that it’s good to let off steam on Sundays. Did you do their homework with them?
Oh no, we completely forgot … You mean to say we have to think about school at the weekend! We were thinking above all about having fun with the children.
Next time, that is to say in two weeks’ time, can you please make sure that their homework is done? If not, it’s the children who will get into trouble and they will fall behind in their school work. It’s also your responsibility as parents.
OK, we’ll make a point of it.
Thank you. The children look well in fact; they are going to sleep soundly.
As an aside
Perhaps we should take them out more on Sundays.
“All meaningful dialogue with others is sure to be a struggle, says T. Radcliffe. Without differing opinions, discussion is not interesting. But using argument to destroy the other or to understand the other, these are two different things”.
It is important to dare to state my values, to say what I believe is vital. It is as important to listen to and understand the values of the other person. Understanding others doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with them, but rather taking their opinion on board, respecting it instead of sweeping it aside or criticizing it for being different to one’s own. You don’t have to agree with others to make your peace with them. Peace comes with mutual respect and with love.
Those who engage and enter into discussion with others, run the risk of having their convictions shaken or even changed, for it is by opening up to others that their values are discovered and can be found interesting or beautiful even.
Perhaps this is what enables us to evolve and not remain fixed in our attitudes.
Jesus was a practicing Jew who faithfully followed Jewish law. However, he was understanding of others.
A woman who was a sinner poured expensive ointment over his feet and this was not at all the Jewish custom. But he accepted this strange gest, for he saw what lay behind it: the love that it signified.
It is not always easy to find the positive in the actions or words of others, but it’s a good research angle. Ferret out other people’s intentions!